Confused

I can't help but to be confused by my thoughts and my feelings. I broke up with my now ex boyfriend about 4 months ago and that's fine, I couldn't care less about that anymore, but after that I just told myself I wouldn't bother anymore. I told myself that it wasn't worth even liking another boy so I told myself I wasn't going to. Now I find myself liking two, both of whom seem to have girlfriends or at least a very rocky relationship with a female. I don't know what to do. I've decided to do nothing about it and be friends with them both but they're not exactly making it very easy. I feel as if they're subtly flirting with me and as much as I try to not notice it I keep noticing it. It's not made easier when my friends notice it too.

Maybe I'm reading into it too much. I don't want a relationship. I don't want a boyfriend or someone like that. I just want to be friends with guys without this drama.

It's been a while.

So, I've officially started my last year of school as of 3 weeks ago. I have 9 months left to go and I'm both terrified and elated at the possibility of finally finishing and moving away from home. This town has been my home for the last 12 years and I can honestly say I'll miss being here. That isn't to say that I don't want to get out of here, it's kind of a hole, but I'll miss the familiarity and the comfort that this silly little town provides.

Something about getting my exam dates already has me freaked as well. It all seems so real now and the end is getting nearer and nearer with each passing day. I hope it's a good year, because I know I'll remember it for the rest of my life.

From Lauren, With Love.