Confused

I can't help but to be confused by my thoughts and my feelings. I broke up with my now ex boyfriend about 4 months ago and that's fine, I couldn't care less about that anymore, but after that I just told myself I wouldn't bother anymore. I told myself that it wasn't worth even liking another boy so I told myself I wasn't going to. Now I find myself liking two, both of whom seem to have girlfriends or at least a very rocky relationship with a female. I don't know what to do. I've decided to do nothing about it and be friends with them both but they're not exactly making it very easy. I feel as if they're subtly flirting with me and as much as I try to not notice it I keep noticing it. It's not made easier when my friends notice it too.

Maybe I'm reading into it too much. I don't want a relationship. I don't want a boyfriend or someone like that. I just want to be friends with guys without this drama.

It's been a while.

So, I've officially started my last year of school as of 3 weeks ago. I have 9 months left to go and I'm both terrified and elated at the possibility of finally finishing and moving away from home. This town has been my home for the last 12 years and I can honestly say I'll miss being here. That isn't to say that I don't want to get out of here, it's kind of a hole, but I'll miss the familiarity and the comfort that this silly little town provides.

Something about getting my exam dates already has me freaked as well. It all seems so real now and the end is getting nearer and nearer with each passing day. I hope it's a good year, because I know I'll remember it for the rest of my life.

From Lauren, With Love.

Dear smokers of the world,

I get that it’s addicting and hard to quit, but if you care enough it shouldn’t be. Every smoke that you inhale into your lungs is causing damage and killing you. It’s common knowledge nowdays so people can’t use the excuse of “I didn’t know” anymore. My parents were both smokers. My dad quit because he was only really doing it occasionally to look “cool” to his friends. My mother still smokes and I try to get her to stop all the time. I honestly don’t want my mother dying prematurely from something that she’s voluntarily doing to herself. I tell every smoker that I come accross that they should quit. It’s not because i’m trying to be annoying and tell them what to do and how to “conform” it’s because I care enough to try and prevent them from damaging their lungs and ruining their lives. I’m not going to stop nagging people to quit. It’s a horrible addiction. You can make whatever choice that you want to about it. If you want to smoke, smoke. Just know that I’ll be making my own choice to advice you not to. Not only for the little children that you’re smoking around and all the other non smokers you’re potentially giving cancer; but mostly for yourselves. Someone needs to help you, and someone needs to care enough to tell you to stop. I’ll be that person. Even if you hate me because of it.

From Lauren, With Love.

The New Year

So I spent my new years night with my best friend. We got dressed up super fancy, made a tub of punch and got spastically drunk while watching Undercover Brother, Orange County and playing guitar hero until 6am. We had many laughs and took many really horrible looking photos. Here's one for you to enjoy.

That's my super awesome plastic martini glass and the Undercover Brother DVD. This is one of the more normal photos of me when I was still somewhat sober. The rest I have asian eyes going on and I look completely inebriated. It was the best New Years ever. It was just the two of us and, as I said last night "100% attendence is pretty good!"

We sang, we danced, we had heaps of fun.

I'm definately looking forward to this coming year now.

It shall be epic.

Family drama

I’m sick of these constant arguments. It’s not only each other that you’re upsetting, you’re upsetting and annoying everyone else in the house. Just calm the fuck down when you talk to each other, you always just yell and scream and I’m sick of it. Yes, he’s kind of a toss bag and at times I hate him, but he’s still my brother mum. You’re not always right and I wish you could just see that. I hate this, I wish I could just fucking get away from here sometimes.

From Lauren, With Love.

can't believe it isn't butter.

Wow, it's the eve of christmas eve already! This is insane. The year just went so damn fast, then before i know it it'll be another year away from now and I'll be saying the exact same thing. Time flies when you're so damn busy and tired to think about it! Merry Christmas to the world :)

Goodbye!

So today was the goodbye dinner for Travis, a guy that i work with. He's moving to Melbourne in a few weeks and is finishing up at work on the 24th of december. I'm going to miss him actually, he was pretty awesome! The boss came along to the dinner and I think he might think me and my friend Keah are a little strange now because we didn't stop talking. I think we talked about accidentally lighting ourselves on fire on new years and he was like o.O what? Highly amusing. I'm looking forward to new years now. Keah and I have big plans. We're gunna watch Baseketball, get smashed, run around with sparklers and possibly jump in my pool. Should be fun! Baseketball drinking game is a go as well. joy!

Glad I could help.

I'm glad that you finally came to me with your feelings. No one should have that sort of stuff bottled up inside. I'm glad that you talked to dad about it too. I love you, mum.

Busy Bee

I've been far to busy to write in this thing every day at the moment. It is Christmas time afterall and it appears that I spend less and less time on the computer everyday. I figure it's healthier this way. Still need to finish my mothers Christmas present, maybe tomorrow... I have a few days yet.

I don't know what i'm doing anymore.

Why does everything have to be so hard? Not to mention exhausting ...